A Crisis of the Identity

Ok so i read Ever day Use by Alice Walker, Two Kinds by Amy tan And Its Hard Enough Being me By Anna Lisa Raya. Each of them speaks some what of an identity crisis. I enjoyed "Its Hard enough being me" and "Two kinds" the first one being short gives it lots of plus points. Two Kinds was a little harder because it was so much longer. How ever Alice walkers one was terrible, it was long and boring. I didnt feel encaged at all. Anna Lisa Raya speaks about how up until she was in college she KNEW who she was but once she got into College should couldnt just be Anna she had to be Latina. She talks about all her struggles starting once she hit College because there was such enfisis on being A Latino and not Anna.

Amy Tan speaks about how she always felt like her mother wanted her to be something she wasnt and how she very much hated it. She stopped giving HERSELF a Chance just to spite her mother. For example with the Piano her mum wants her to play the Piano and she hires a deaf piano player to do it. Amy figures out a way to be lazy while doing everything she is asked to do. But at the end of the story, after her mother has died and left her a piano, and she is living on her own she plays the Piano just to see and she ends up actully being good at it.

These Stories all have an issue of identity Crisis, All not knowing who they are until very much later on in life. They find Life isnt easy, they berated their parents

Who does that david sedaris Think he is?!!?!

David Sedaris is an English teacher as far as i can tell, and a homosexual. From reading his works i have learnt that as a child and an adult both the man despised the idea of a teacher, thought of them as more of a tool of torture. When he was a child his teacher would always manage to find a way to announce to the class that David has a speech issue and was in therapy for it. as an adult he was called upon to be a teacher where we learnt in the teachign style he assumed teachers used he showed how little he thought of them.


David is a man filled with terror, terrified people will realize he is homosexual, realize he doesnt know WHAT he is doing, and terrified that people will find out he isnt even a real teacher. He is a Coward at heart, a man who doesnt know how to be brave.

What do people think of him, almost as much as he thinks of himself. I know for me i thought he was stupid i man the whole dividing class into these differnt sections like pillow talk, and other things. Its pretty stupid, assinging them to watch a silly soap opera and getting genuinly offended when they state what they think will happen based off of what actully happens in other soaps. But he doesnt have a funny story to tell, and boy can the man right a good paper. I enjoyed reading what he had to say even though it was pointless.

Over all David Sedaris is a homosexual english teacher who doesnt know a thing about being a teacher but he can write some good papers. Something i feel he should have tried to impart on his students when first becoming a teacher

in reading both sonnet 116 and sonnet 29 by Shakespeare amd Live In place By Nikki Giovanni my mind struggled to draw a link, "surely" i thought to myself Mrs Speigel hasnt given me two works to read that have barley a link to each other. Then i sat back and i thought welll they have the theme of love but both are completely different, Nikki is talking about seeing herself as beautiful as the person who loves her, for in the eyes of the person who loves us we are perfect in every sense of the word. But Shakespeare...ah yes then i saw the link nikki is talking about being seen through someone elses eyes, while shakespeare is talkign about doing the seeing.

""What i mostly see is me, through your eyes am i am still young smlim and very much commited to the love we still have" (Love In place) as you can see she says it directly i wasnt struggling to draw this conclusion that she was being seen through her lovers eyes.


~Squiggles

Love Tales

In this reading response we had three seperate works to read. All of them as you might have guessed been about love. The First one we read was "Take me as I am, Who ever Iam" The Second "Maturity was just to Messy for me" and the last one was "Cat in the Rain"

Each piece has its own story, its own plot and are completely seperate from each other. "Take me as I am, Who ever I am" her story was how she is bipolar and it was severe! and she could never find love because with the example she gave in her piece, she was happy go lucky, got a hit when she threw out her line to catch a guy, get a date lined up for him, and then she would sink into a deep depression. After the second time of this happening she lost the guy. she was "two people" One happy one not so. In the end she does find a pill that puts her in the middle of both her personalities.

In "Maturity" he finds a older woman who he very much finds attractive, but he is so very young in comparison. Until he gets freaked out because she gets very drunk and very ill, and he has to take her home and take care of her, and the entire time he is takign care of her he is thinking, "Mums dont do this, lawyers definatly dont do this" And so he does the highschool thing and doesnt call her which he states doesnt work. But he becomes childish. But in the end he moves away and grows up, he stays in contact with the older woman and they talk still and have a very unique relationship

In "Cat in the Rain" They are i believe in a different country, and in a different time, because of the way the husband behaves around his wife. But the Wife sees a cat out in the rain, hense its name, and she goes to get it, but its gone by the time she gets outside. She comes back to her room in the hotel, and is pouting about how she wants fun, to grow her hair out and so on, but if i cant have that, she says, i atleast want a cat. then there comes a knock on the door and a maid walks in carrying the cat and says "Excuse me, the padrone asked me to bring this for the signora" Now i dont quiet understand what she says but i THINK she is saying is that the husband asked them to go catch the cat while his wife was on her way downstairs to try and catch it.

All these Stories are all very different, they have love in them in all sorts of different ways, the first book is the lack of love and how much she wants it the second is how he has it but its freaking him out and the third is a married couple and a husband giving his wife that he loves a surprise. BUt all of these stories have a happy ending, most dont have a happy middle part, the first she is bipolar and falls into deep depressions where she stays in bed and isnt happy at all, the guy in the second story gets childish after he freaks out over having to take care of a mother who is a lawyer who by his thinking SHOULDNT be getting worried and trashed. But they all have by the conclusion of the story, worked out the issue and MOVED ON, and grown from the experience.

I think that the mession from these stories is, you learn, you over come and you move on and you are better for it

Why do i think she think that (Specialty Blog 4)

Why do i think That Edna thought the way i portrade her? Well First off after i read the poem that was in my t ext book i didnt think that, when i first read it i thought, hmm she doesnt think much of love, Then i re read it, thought the same rereade it again and at the END of the poem i noticed something i hadnt before "I do not think i would" now for most of you your probably think "Would not what?!!?!?!?!? come on you wierd British man tell us what you are opening your face for?!!? Well ILL TELL YOU! Through out the Poem "Love is Not All" It is not Meat Nor Drink" she talks about love as if it were nothing more than physical stuff, nourishment for your "cravings" shall we say. She talks about all the things people think of love(talking about those who think its all physical shizz" Well Dang it she doesnt think that! So that was the first nudge i got from Edna! Then i read on Wikipedia her history, OOOOOHHH boy! That Woman had more lovers than a Lion.....But the worst part of that history of Edna was that she actully cared about MOST of the people she was with. She wrote peoms FOR them, and with them.

So there you have it, the reason why Squiggles thinks that Edna thought alot more of love than she led on...though it could be my Romantic inclinations that some how twisted something that was the complete opposite of what she actully thought into something i relate with more....But... Only Edna Knows.

~Squiggles out *hits chest twice then does peace sign*

Love, i gotta Say, i dont know if i feel it

Edna, may i call you Edna?

Why of course Rob, if i may Call you rob

Sure, Edna, let us get started, when you think of love, what exactly does it mean to you?

Loves meaning, hmm ,for most people love is something other people can use to further their own gains, something to sell out as soon as life needs something new. What ever people think, I think love is more, it is above a sell out, it nourishes the soul more than the body but a happy soul can die happy and move on and be happier, an unhappy body just dies and ends right there. Some people think love is for the body, it is more.

very deep Edna, very Romantic. I like that, Now Edna What are the Positive things about love?

For me atleast love is something you cannot sell, its most positive attribute is that while it doesn't nourish some of the bodily needs it does nourish all of the souls.

hmm, Edna your being a Romantic again aren't you? Well What are some negative aspects to love?

the most negative things love has to offer are that most people don't know what it is,they use it for self gain. throw it away on a wimb if something of bodily need arises, but not me.

So the negative is most people don't understand it Edna? Edna, you have led a very full life with many people you have loved, you are an expert for this question i think...How do you know when you are in love?

How do i know when I'm in love? why i wont think of food! or drink! or any other bodily need, because to me love transcends that. of course to others, love only means a free meal ticket, or something else free that the body wants.

Edna, how Important is love to life or even Society in your mind?

Why, I think you put it in the right order, Love first, life second Society...dead last! What have i been saying this whole time? Love feeds the soul, but most people don't know it, they want to feed their lives, and Society feeds that SILLY notion!.

Ah yes of course how silly of me Edna How silly of me indeed, Edna, i have a few more questions for you, in your life, how many times HAVE you loved someone?

Oh why ROB! so many, love is not singular! five i believe, my first brief romance was with Thelma wood, oh dont be shocked rob even back then we hada few bisexual people!!! yes she wasa sculpture, beautiful woman! Then there was Edmund Wilson, poor chap thought he could tie me down with marriage, not to be I'm afraid, then there was Eugen Jan Boissevain, ah he was WONDERFUL! we had an open relationship, i loved that man, and he loved me, when he passed i simply was distraught but i kept sharing my love with other people as he would have wanted. there are others but, let us leave it as this.

Have you ever made any of your lovers a Poem?

Rob, what poet hasnt? really! ofcourse i have, when i was with Eugen, i had a lover George Dillon. I wrote many poems for that man, the most i had written any one i believe.

Did any of your lovers ever help you with your poems Edna?

Actually, George did, he helped me do the translation of "Les Fleurs Du Mal" which we called "Flowers of Evil" it was exhilarating to work with someone I loved, our relationship i would say was the most significant other than with Eugen ofcourse.

Edna i would like to thank you for coming back and talking to me, it has been a riveting experience! Farewell and Enjoy your rest

Ever Song - Father Of mine. How this song relates to The BLUES!

The Song i chose was Father of mine By Everclear.

Well first lets sumerize this song. Its a great song, a very good song. The Lyrics talking about how a father left a wife and Son behind, just walked out on them. It talks about how it was so difficult without having his Father, how they had to leave their house, and move into a "Black Nieghbourhood" which back in those days you had black and white neighbourhoods and if you were of the other color in that nieghbourhood you were scorned, and treated like crap. He sings about all he managed to accomplish without his father, and how it could have been so much easiar, then at the end he talks about how he has grown up now, and he never wants his children to feel that anguish and pain that he had to suffer through, and how he will never been a walk out dad like his was, how he promises he will always be there for his kids
This song is like the blues in many respects

First: The Blues, always in blues songs the song is focused on the person singing it, and how life is difficult, or how they hope one day to break free of THEIR chains that are holding them down, Where as in modern day music, its always a people or someone far away, something not personall. In "Father of Mine" He sings about how HIS father left HIM, and HIS struggles that HE had to go through without HIS father....YOU get what I AM saying?
Second: It Starts off sorrowful, and Ends with hope, like Most Blues songs do.
Third: I cant remember, it was actully really good :(

The Image i made. I actully took Screen shots of a few scenes in the Music Video that goes with the song. The First Image is him with his father, and how his father was at the begining there forh im. The Second Image is him watching his father walk away from him same as the third. The fourth is him with his mother being all sad and Lonely And the finall picture is him as a man, keeping the promise he makes in the lyrics of never leaving his own kids as shown in this quote.

"Now Im a grown man With a child of my ownAnd
I swear Im not going to let her know
All the pain I have known"

I guess that the thing you could really improve upon with putting the image and the song together, is really only strengthening the idea that it is the Singer who this story is about, it isnt about some random person, it is actully the singer, and when he sings he is actully putting his heart and emotion into the song. I think the Lyrics are stronger than the picture, you get the idea behind the picture. Combining them both together just Strengthens the idea of it being a personall Ordeal, one many others go through, but still in this example it is a single person we are talking about not many others.

~Squiggles turns on youtube to listen to more music!

Emily Dickinson poems in review

In this reading assingment we had to read a section entirely devoted to Emily dickinson, the summary of her life was by far the longest one i have had to read since starting this class, even the summarys of the blues writers was nothing in comparison to Emily Dickinson. No one had seen her writing style then, and even now people dare not touch that style of writing, so well did she use it.

In almost all of her poems she has a reference to god, which further gives the reader the knowledge that though Emily dickinson didnt go out much, and didnt have much communincation, God was a very large part of her life, and one she based most of her lifes works on. You get the sense that god, in her life, was extremly instrumental.



The poem i found most appealing was " Those- Dying then"

in the poem you get the sense that she is talkign about believers in god, and them being in the minority "Knew where they went" So even though they were not wanted in places while they were alive they knew that because of their faith they would be going to a good place by the side of god "They went to gods right hand, The hand is amputated now" Which further gives me the idea that she thought of a world where most people shunned the idea of God "And god Cannot be found" So then even though these people believe in god they cannot find the correct religion or they no longer feel god is behind them, watching over them.

"The Abdicatioon of belief Makes the behavior small, Better Ignis Fatuus Than no Illume at all" So she is saying that even though they cannot feel the presence of god anymore, its better to do as god would like, because atleast you THINK you will ge given to the right hand of god, then life is worth living, because if you do not think there is anything after death, then whats the point? Better to belive than to not. This is actully something i can relate to, because i have someone in my life who does not believe in god and is terrified of the thought of death, while i myself, NOT a big fan of the idea of dieing, and i do enjoy living life, and would rather live. Know that atleast when i die, there is something else afterwards that isnt so bad.



I found this poem Appealing because out of all of them, this poem i was able to relate to in some sort of way, and also it made alot of sense to me while the others just seemed like words put together. The other factor of my liking this poem was ofcourse its length. Its short, sweet and to the point.

~Squiggles out!

picture poems

In this assignment we read some more poems but these poems were accompanied by a picture they were describing. One poem i found particularly interesting was the "Van Gogh's Bed" Mainly because it was a short poem but secondly because i have never seen a poem done in this style. If you read it, you notice that befor each stanza you have to place "Van Gogh's Bed" In front of it for it to make sense.

"Is Orange
like Cinderellas coach, like
the sun when he looked it
straight in the eye"
If you dont place the title in front of it you havent got a clue as to what the author is describing as Orange or like Cinderellas Coach.

"Is narrow
he slepft, tossing
between two pillows, while it carried him
bumbpily along"

which is thr second stanza. As you can see placing the Title at the begining of each is the only way to know how it relates to the story. The poem main thing is that it ise describing this bedroom which aparently is Van Gogh's

The second poem i liked was "The Great Figure" because it shows you his first draft of the poem and the final draft, and it kind of shows yous how something you start off with NEVER ends how you expected it too, his first draft is a little more desribtive and more wordy but the final is short and to the point. If you look at the picture you see there is a GIANT number 5 but it gets smaller as it goes back, which in my mind says "Its actully very small but the reason they make the third and final one so big is to put your mind onto the fact that this poem is about the number 5..." while not so Brilliant that even a 2 year old would get that message, i just thought it nice to give that few as well...

The "Mourning picture" which is the final poem in the set we were given to read only attracts me because i recognize the picture but from where i do not know. i feel like i have seen this picture before, and the poem does an excellent job of portraying the picture on the service and what is expressed underneath the meanings of the differnt objects and people in the picture

America has got the blues

In this Assignment we read "Americas got the Blues" the introduction gave a brief history summerization of how Blues came to be. It also says how when the blues became popular many "White folk" tried to do the blues but failed at it so they would put the word blues in the title of their song or band name or on a special occasion have a Blues Song. The introduction also talked about key figures of bringing blues out in to the open like W.C Handy who wrote "Memphis Blues" and "St Louis Blues"


After the introduction it lists some very famious poems or blues lyrics. It gives a brief life history of each of the authers then shows you one of the Poems that they are famious for.

"Blue" the Poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar, very crude yet in its simple way more telling than all the other poems. Its writing style while hard to understand, once you grasp what he is saying is actully very good.

"Standin at de winder Feeling kind o glum listen to de raindrops play de kettle drum lookin crost de medders swimming lak a sea lawd a mussy on us whats de good o me? cant go out a hoein wouldnt ef i could goun to wet fu hunting fishing aint no good too much noise fo sleeping non one hyeah to chat des mus stan and listen to dat pit-a-pat Hills is gitting misty valleys gittin Dahk watch-dogs menance a holwin athah have em ba;k"

As you can see with what i have written down in what is said in the poem the style is very crude, yet the story is telling. In his descriptions all he talks about is how there is nothing to do, and even if he wanted to he cant go outside cause even the weather is against him. in his poem life is just one big storm against him. He cant tend to his crops, he cant hunt and he cant fish so he cannot provide for himself or his family. "lawd a mussy on us" = god have mercy us. Aparently even god is not on his side. All in all its a very sad story of an uneducated man who lives off of a land that doesnt want to provide for him.

St. Louis Blues is a different sort of style in comparison to "Blue" It is very articulate and very straight forward about why the person has the blues, the person is down and sad because the person they love has been stolen away from them "St. Louis woman with her diamond ring pulls that man around by her If it wasnt for her and her that man i love would have gone no where no where." That kind of gives you the hint.

Something I have noticed about Blues Poems and Blues songs is they very much like to repeat the first sentence in most of their Stanza's.

Squiggles got the blues

in this assingment we had to choose a quote from the blues section in our Text book. The following quotes is the one i choose and the following reasons are why i choose it.

“The blues is not the creation of a crushed spirited people. It is the product of a forward looking, upward striving people.”
~ Albert Murray

The reason I choose this quote to analyze and talk about is that, its quiet different from most other quotes I had to choose from, because the quotes are either about how these people were crushed, or how they are striving to become free spirited. With this quote he is saying “This isnt made by those with no spirit, but with those who have a strong spirit” Blues is always assosicated with a slow paced mournful tone. But when you listen it isnt always that. It is inspiring, it gets down right into your soul and makes you feel good. I choose the quote because, it says without saying it “The blues, hit your soul, breaking you free and making you feel good”

Back when African-Americans were slaves they didn’t sing the blues because they felt they had no hope, they sang the blues because they knew “there will come our time to shine and be free” they sang the blues because it made them feel good and it gave them hope, as Albert Murray says “it is the product of a forward looking upward striving people” they never thought this was all they would get, they knew that if now wasn’t their time, it would be their childrens time, or their childrens children.

The blues brings hope, and with it it brings the people who sing it.

All about Squiggles

Hello everyone.
I Am Robert and I am in English 112 at NOVA.
hmm, something interesting about me? well I was born in Germany and when i was 6 weeks old my family moved to England where i lived until i was 15 years old. Then I moved to Norther Virgina, and went to oakton highschool for 3 and a half years.

What do I want to get out of this class? well I generally expect from all English classes something of use, broaden my reading abilities and my vocabulary, I like English its my second favourite subject. Theatre being my first favourite. I plan on Majoring in theatre and becoming a stage actor, ok well i hope I can become a Stage actoy

My major goals for this blog, well I didnt expect I would have to make a blog for an English class but HEY im here so I might as well, it could be fun. Well I expect that using this blog i will be able to get alot of awesome, maybe some bad, pointers on my writing, which in the end will help me do good on my papers for the English Class

Ok well that was my introduction to squiggles :)